Review: Lovehoney Sqweel

I’m always on the hunt for something interesting and unique to add to my ever-growing sex toy collection. The Lovehoney Sqweel has perked my interest for quite some time now, and recently my new friends at had sent me one for review!

The Sqweel arrived promptly and came in cute packaging — always a good start to a relationship. When you open up the nifty hinged tin box, everything is nicely laid out in a velvety insert. I was saddened that the lube sample it is supposed to come with was absent. I like lube samples. It was disappointing, but it’s not really important. The Sqweelis obviously the main feature here.

So. This is the Sqweel. It is, in a nutshell, a cunnilingus simulator. Basically, a motorized wheel of 10 silicone whirling lapping tongues, encased in a hard plastic shell, that is meant to simulate oral sex. Genius! With that said, this toy doesn’t vibrate or thrust, and is meant for external stimulation.

First, the specs: The Sqweel measures about 4½” in diameter, and is about 1½” thick. The shell is made of ABS plastic that has a silky, velvety feel to it. A section of the shell can easily be popped off revealing the wheel of silicone tongues, then replaced to protect the tongues during storage. Each tongue is 1” long and 1” wide at its widest point. They are soft, flexible, and squishy. The entire unit can be disassembled and thoroughly cleaned. The side panel rotates open so you can lift out the silicone wheel for cleaning, which can be washed with warm water and an antibacterial soap, then left out to dry. The Sqweel itself is not waterproof because it has a battery compartment, so just wipe it clean with a damp cloth.

Speaking of batteries, it is powered by 3-AAA batteries. Inserting the batteries is pretty simple. Just slide the cover off, pop in the batteries, and slide the cover back on. The power switch is located on the end. There are three speeds; low, medium, and high. To turn it on just slide the switch into any of the desired settings and it begins to spin. To turn it off just switch it to the off position and it quickly stops.

As for the speeds, the low is just that — a very low spin. It doesn’t do much for me. The high is quite fast, and actually pretty scary! Medium is where it’s at for me. It emits a rather mechanical sound and is probably but not ideal for those who like to masturbate on the down-low. It’s not the most quiet toy, but it’s not overly loud either. With each increasing level it does get louder.

This is a sex toy in which you must use your imagination…and a LOT of lube1. Put some water-based lube in the palm of your hand. Turn the Sqweel on low and slowly lower it into your palm, allowing the tongues lap up the lube. If you put it on high, you’ll shoot lube off your hand, so don’t do that. You want to get them nice and and slippery to avoid any drag and you may even want to add some lubricant to yourself. The wetter, the better!

I suggest starting slow and working your way up. Not much pressure is needed and actually if too much pressure is added, the wheel stops. I found that allowing just the tips of the tongues touch my clit offers the best stimulation. Once you get used to it and allow yourself to relax it does feel pretty good and can help you achieve an orgasm. If you close your eyes, it actually does feel like a lapping tongue and almost like oral sex — minus all the nibbling and sucking goodness. Personally, this does not take me from start to finish, but it’s a nice in-betweener. It doesn’t necessarily give you the exact feeling of someone going down on you but I do like the sensation — it feels interesting and is definitely unique.

The Sqweel is seriously a fun toy and the most interesting sex toys I own. It’s fun to experiment with all the different angles and has enough zip to do the job. It fits in your hand easily and is very simple to use. BONUS! While it does require a little getting used to, I think it’s pretty amazing considering how close it comes to feeling like the real thing!

Thanks, Canadian Sex Toys!